The Arid Zone

I've lived in Mississippi or Louisiana my whole life, except one memorable year from Jan '83 to Jan '84. I had the great experience to live away from the South and Live in the West. While I missed the lush green of Lafayette, southern food, Coca-Cola (that was the year of New Coke) white bread, trees, spanish moss and you'll never believe this, but I missed Humidity. Anyway, I got to spend an arid year in the geographical center of the state of Arizona and I loved every minute of it.

I had my first child there, I met some people I can never forget, they still populate my tales of that year. I was a Southerner, well at the time, a "Cajun", because I had been living in Lafayette for years and I had the accent and could pronouce all the last names, and they thought I was a hoot. Of course, when you are Southern, and I'm sure this goes for all "Sub" cultures, the more people make over your accent, the more pronounced it becomes. I was Justin Wilson and Suzanne Sugarbaker rolled into one. Being Southern got me out of a ticket. I just simply got in touch with my inner Scarlett O'Hara and drawled my way out of it. This does not work in Mississippi, I know, because I have gotten a number of tickets in this state and the officers are not impressed by my southern accent. I sound like thier wives, mothers, aunts, girl cousins and daughters. But I'll bet a British girl...........I'm rambling.

That was a great year. I plan to be a little old lady in Arizona. Yeah, I'll have that roadside attraction on old Route 66. Snake skeletons and cactus jelly and post cards of the Grand Canyon and Jerome. I'll have long silver hair and wear lots of turquoise. And I'll have a Native American handy man, cos, I'm all politically correct and stuff. And you need a strong young man around to lift heavy stuff. I need to find one like that Wind In His Hair dude in Dances with Wolves.......sorry, rambling again. Where was I?.......I'm going to live in an RV, fly the rebel flag, and wear the colors on Mardi Gras. I'll sell okra and give instructions on how to cook it. Sell my own home brewed sweet tea by the gallon jugs. Try to get a glass of sweet tea in a resturant out west. The wait personnel look at you as if you are nuts and offer you raspberry tea.

"Auntie Vi's Southern Things and Dead Snake Emporium" Moon Pies. Ceramic magnolias. I'm willing to provide a service. I will bring Southern Kitsch to the desert. As God is my witness, they will never be without tacky again.

Okay, kiddies how many of the following can you find in the picture up top? A girl in a flatbed Ford, an Eagle, and two crazy Mississippi kids doing the tourist thang.

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